If any of you know me well then you know I am a big fan of the show Survivor. This last season Gen X and Millenials was my favorite season so far, it had a great set of people and one of them in particular has left a lasting impression with me. David Wright was an oddball, he came into Survivor being constantly fearing death and was literally afraid of birds on the first day (they were chasing him though). David was very paranoid about the game, especially being fearful that he was going to be voted out. The David that started that was there on day one was not the David that was voted out on day 38 (he was the last juror). Over the course of the game David gained confidence in himself and even though he was looked at as an underdog who had trouble swimming, he became a big threat in the game having won a few individual immunities. Davids good bye speech on the show was very moving, he said that he may not have been the Sole Survivor, but he was leaving a changed man, a better man.
If you are reading this than you know about everything I’ve been through, and my anxiety and mental health issues, and being on disability. I am a fearful person, I barely leave the house and when I do I don’t like to do it alone. Just going to get the mail or bring out the trash is stress inducing for myself. Watching David’s transformation on Survivor was very moving for me, and it got me thinking, why can’t I change for the better like David did? I would love to be on Survivor, yes, but being picked for the show would be like winning the lottery. And in the end changing for the better, and shedding my fears and anxiety would be worth just as much as a million dollars. I want to be healthy, I want to be able to not worry about worrying.
Today I began a journey, one to get in shape and get healthier. I am going to be making a strong effort to start getting out of the house and going for walks and eating healthier to help me lose weight. I know I will probably never be on Survivor, I take lots of medications and I use a CPAP machine and I am sure if I was to be on a beach somewhere with a bunch of strangers, the person that snores at night wouldn’t be liked and would probably be one of the first to be eliminated. I am hoping to get healthy and get off of some of my medications and maybe possibly not need a CPAP machine anymore. I know it’s going to take me losing a lot of weight but I think I am ready for this.
I usually just sit at home watching television and the only real times I get out of the house are for doctors appointments or for when Bob and I are spending time together and are running errands. I’ve never been someone to just go for a walk and I am pretty carefree when it comes to eating. I eat what sounds good to me and I eat as much as I need to so I am not hungry anymore. For New Years I gave up soda, I’ve given up carbonated drinks for a whole year before and I am hoping to do it again. So as of today I haven’t had soda in 2 weeks and I feel like I am sleeping better which is nice.
I came up with this whole journey idea last night and went to bed thinking about it and I woke up today feeling like a man on a mission. I spent a little time stalling but eventually I got out of the house and went for a walk, the first time I’ve left the house on my own with out a purpose like getting the mail or something. I texted Bob right as I was leaving to let him know where I was going. I just started walking and I knew what street I was going to go down and not even half way down the street I was feeling it, my lower back was aching and my ankles were very sore. I texted Bob and told him how far I went and said that I was going to come back, but then I kept going. I know that this journey wasn’t going to be easy and I didn’t want to be discouraged by seeing just how out of shape I was so I just kept pushing and before I knew it I was at the end of the street and started walking back. I stopped at a few benches along the way just to rotate my ankles and to give my back a break but I did it. By the time I got home I opened up the health app on my iPhone and saw that I had walked 2.7 miles.
I have a Facebook friend that is kind of local who does 5k and 10k walk/runs at Disney and I am hoping to eventually get into good enough shape to join him for a 5k.
My hope is that I will keep reaching milestones along the way and that I will get into the best shape of my life and not need to be on so many medications. I’d love to say “I want to lose 100 pounds and not need a CPAP anymore and not snore, but I know that that isn’t realistic. I would also love to say that I would get on Survivor and do well on the show, but that’s unrealistic too. I just want to get healthier and fitter. I know I will see setbacks along the way, I mean just today I realized that after over 2 years I need new shoes because I have a big blister now. I am going to try and stay as positive as I can when something comes up.
This is my journey, and this is my mission. I will try and keep you all up to date with everything