Random notes on my phone

I was just browsing my phone and found a few notes I had saved from awhile back, I completely forgot about them and after rereading them I thought I would share with you guys.

Here is the first one-

“Don’t Look Back”

Jumping overboard the air rushes like the memories of our past, then suddenly I crash into the water and sink into the feeling of knowing that you are better off without me and I’m going to have to learn to swim at last. I don’t want you to save me this time, I need to know I can do it on my own.
Don’t look back, just go on. Go on.

I’m doing this for us, I mean me, I need to fix myself for us to ever work, but I wasted time denying the truth and now it’s come to this. Why do I feel so selfish? You’ve moved on, but I’m still clinging onto the past because that’s where I was in your arms and felt safe. That’s all I can do, because I was too late.

Don’t look back, just go on. Go on.

Seeing you speed off into the distance I whisper I love you, knowing you won’t hear me, but wishing you would and come back to save me as I’m being swallowed by the sea. They say time heals wounds, but mine are still open and growing. And so I say…

Don’t look back, just go on.

Here is the second one-

“The Apple”

I see that you’re calling again, must mean you’ve been drinking. You say you do it to numb your pain, but you make me afraid to do the same. You’ve called me a mistake enough times that I’ve started to believe it. Funny how no matter how much I try to deny it, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You’ve made my life a living hell and you expect me to want to keep you in it? You’ve been dead to me for years and I wish I’d be dead to you.

And the third-

“Letting Go”

This hurts me more than you’ll ever know. I need to let you go, because I’m only holding you back and I care for you to much. You’re the person that showed me what true love is and now I’m having to walk away from it to show you how much I love you. You deserve far better than me and I wish you the best.

I don’t think I’d call these poems, they were just random writings I did when I couldn’t sleep. I’ve never really done that much writing in my life so I doubt these are even good, I just saved them because (much like this blog) I like to sometimes look back at what I was thinking or feeling at a given time so I can see growth or change in my life. If I remember correctly I wrote these after my music appreciation therapy group had a spoken word style exercise where we were asked to present a poem over some acoustic guitar, but I was to nervous to share (because I don’t like talking about personal things in front of people) so I guess you can try and imagine these almost like they are songs.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s