Breakdown

Today at work I had a breakdown. It was the worst anxiety attack that I’ve had in years.

Today I was stacking pallets just like the last 5 days, and we were actually making great time and had 32 done by lunch. Then came some guy that works in the shipping department, let’s call him Troy. It started out as a simple “3 boxes were stacked wrong”, and the whole time I was continuing to stack boxes on a pallet. Yes I should have been paying better attention and being respectful and look at the gut, but I was more focused on finishing the pallet and not getting backed up on the line. He said something about the boxes and I turned towards him and we made eye contact and he was like “were you listening?”. I said yes and then he moved over to where I was and was only about a foot from me and he asked my name so I told him it and then he was all like “Well Brad, people in my department have been complaining about you and said that you’ve been arguing. If you want to argue I can march you straight to your Aerotech supervisor and we can talk there”. After saying that he walked away and went and talked with my lines lead guy.

Any of you who have met me know I don’t like to argue and I avoid doing it if I can, so between that and being in shock at how rude the guy was being to me, I just kept stacking the boxes and went on for a little while, but then what the guy sunk in and it started hitting me. With my anxiety I can tell when its bad when my hands start cramping and sweating and sometimes start shaking. As soon as the guy walked away the guys in my area of the line started saying things like “you never argued with anyone” and they all said that they would go to our supervisor and stick up for me because the guy obviously had me mistaken for someone else and had a stick up his butt.

After about 15 minutes I asked my line lead if I could go to the bathroom because I was gettmeds.really upset, so I ran to the bath room and I told myself “OK you have 5 minutes to let it out and then you have to get back to work” and I did, I cried put of frustration and even prayed a little. After the 5 minutes I went back to the line and everyone was cool and supportive though I’m guessing its because my eyes were still red and my hands were still shaky. I knew I needed my anxiety meds and I asked my friend Jed who works in the shipping department who takes our pallets it he could run me home so I could get some of my meds, but he said he couldn’t. The leader of our line also briefly told me not to worry and that I’m doing good.

As soon as our lunch break started I hurriedvand clocked out and started calling everyone I could think of that might give a damn and listen to me worry. After calling 3 or 4 people and geyring their voicemails I called my best friend Mark who has been a real life saver at times (literally). Thankfully he answered and ad time to talk. He recommended going to HR, but I am so new that I don’t know who that is. After 30 minutes or so of talking he calmed me down enough that I felt I was composed enogh to go in and have lunch.

After lunch I went back to work, but for the rest of the day I was in a funk and my mind was racing a lot and I was worried I was in trouble. My pallet parter/friend said that he went and told “Troy” that he had the wrong guy. “Troy” came back to our line a few times through out the rest of the day and he kept watching me and a few times he pulled the line lead aside and talked to him.

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